Superman hates little girls

http://www.wlky.com/news/13547817/detail.html

LOUISVILLE, Ky. -- Police confirmed that a girl's feet have been cut off at Six Flags' Kentucky Kingdom.

Officials said they got the call around 5 p.m. Thursday and both her feet were detached at the ankle.

According to MetroSafe dispatch supervisors, the girl was riding the Superman Tower of Power, which is 177 feet tall and drops riders at 54 miles per hour. According to Kentucky Kingdom, the girl was injured when the ride malfunctioned. Dispatchers said she was taken to University Hospital.

So, apparently Superman's heat vision broke and he blew off some little girl's entire lower torso. She was also holding a scholarship in her hand but we know how Supes feels about the liberal college elite.

Where's your god now, Chris.

Exciting contest!

I've decided to host a contest where people could win a prize.

The rules of this contest are that you must write the first page of a pornographic fiction novel featuring your friends. The winner will be the person I select. I will be extremely objective in my judgment.

Here is my entry.

BEGIN

Chris noticed that Sean's jeans were exceptionally snug that day, as his friend playfully swatted at the air with a Wii Remote.

"Wow, he must have accidentally used my detergent," he mused as he delicately took the controller from Sean. A slight sheen of sweat covered Sean's face, as the air conditioner in their apartment had finally ceased to cool. Chris was angered at first, but the video games coupled with the cold draught of air coming from the open window had eased his temper.

He was noticing Sean's uneven motorcycle tan when the door behind him burst open. Nathan stood in the doorway wearing naught but his Tommy Hilfiger brand boxers. Because it was so hot.

"Hey guys, I got the new Wii Twister game where you play Twister, but with Wii remotes! It just came out today!"

Sean and Chris shared a laugh as Nathan clumsily prepared the game.

END

Ok, now I want to see some awesome entries! Get to work!

but this made me feel better.

8==D~~

Would you have sex with a robot?

I guess it depends, blog.

If the robot in question was a Deep Blue-esque behemoth that would spit out little pieces of tape that said "Fuck me good" in binary, then probably no. Those old 60's Hummer-looking computers could barely process 100 Hz, so I doubt they could withstand my awesome 60GB hard drive.

(what the hell)

If it was a hot robot though, like Ultron in Mighty Avengers or the Danger Room in Astonishing X-Men, I just might acqueiesce. Can the Danger Room robot simulate a Sentinel attack for a group of teenage mutants while we're banging? Would that make the Sentinels look like giant penis robots? How would that work? (i don't know, it's rhetoric,blog)

Why do these robots need boobs? What is inside the orbs on their chest? It isn't milk. (i think, there is no way to know for sure until they give birth) So it's got to be computer parts. Do they feel like real boobs? Maybe they're like those little gel resting areas for your wrist on a mouse pad.

I think I'm entering Will Magnus territory here. Except instead of robots, he wanted to do it with pure elements. Would he do it with Cesium? I don't want to dip my wang in substance that can fucking etch glass, thanks, but I bet ole Will Magnus has a hankering for highly basic metals. Magnus alkalike.

(chemistry jokes, people, come on.)

Beautiful Relationship

So, apparently mine and Chris' comic is possibly getting published. I'm trying not to get too excited because there's obviously a lot of stuff that could go wrong between now and then, but it's still really great to hear that somebody likes something you've done enough to want to put it in a book that people may actually pay money for and will keep in their houses to the exclusion of other stuff.

think about it, people could buy food items with the money they are going to maybe spend on something me and chris did. someday they might become poor and destitute and they will wish they had saved that money for food but it'll be too late and they'll slowly die from starvation with only a comic about streets of rage to warm their rapidly cooling body, which is a great comfort to them.

and somewhere in a mansion me and chris will toast our success with wine, with the thoughts of homeless people far from us.

maybe we could hire him to dress as batman and be our butler. it'd be like if alfred was batman was a homeless guy.

blog post #3

in which I use italics to convey a message.

phew these things are hard work.

Congratulation!

Me and chris haley (he gets mad if you use capitals) made a comic and some people on the internet liked it!

lots of people on the internet smoke weed.

these two things might be unrelated.